Requiem Por Sanitas

NOTHING can go wrong!

Sun, 10 May 2009 04:39:33 GMT

hey remember when I said poker was going well?

Yea I lost around 80% of my bankroll in May and am playing on a stake, where so far (1 day in) I continue to lose. Fucking hell.

Also, since I now know I will graduate jobless, the "music" is now the expected time in months until I find something.

Nothing has gone right for me in May. What a worthless, piece of shit month.

Well fuck everything.

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:26:00 GMT

So I'm about to graduate from Purdue in two weeks. I'm probably not going to keep my 4.0 (lol subjective grading and a lack of desire to do my last projects well), but oh well like it fucking matters anyways. 4.0, 3.98, there's no jobs for anyone.

I just busted my ass for four years at college to become a FUCKING INTERNET POKER PLAYER/COACH. NO, FUCKING SERIOUSLY. I can't get work in my field because none exists, and coaching poker and playing will yield a higher hourly than any temp job I'd be able to land. Oh, my dad ALSO doesn't have a job now. 25 or so years at one company and LOL YOU'RE PAID TOO MUCH OFF YOU GO ON YOUR BIKE.

I'd like to thank the social and neo conservatives out there for fucking up Ame^H^H^H THE WHOLE WORLD so that people like myself and everyone else in my graduating class and everyone who's been fired because of your greed and idiocy will never be able to retire or even making a decent living for ourselfs. Tha^H^H^H FUCK you. I've stopped taking my meds because shit I can't keep taking them without health insurance. Too bad health insurance for the unemployed is COMMUNIST AND TERRORIST and that money was much, much better spent blowing up towelheads, right? RIGHT?

At least I kicked enough ass in poker in April to have a big enough bankroll to be comfortable grinding $55s.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 18:06:26 GMT

March goals:

1) Get everything done before Spiring Break that I need to do, and well. It seems like all of my classes have a bunch of random shit I need to finish - I have a video game due in about a week (a tower defense game designed to be played on cell phones), and couple lectures to lead about CORN. Yes, corn. Also I have a VBA lab practical in about 2 1/2 hours, and a exam next week. And physics labs. Ugh.

2) Learn to properly spin fiber into yarn. Before you think "ok what the HELL is this," I made a bet with Monica that she couldn't spend money on crafting sutff for all of Feburary. I'm a complete fish at relationship prop bets because apparently she's way better saving money than I thought. So I have to learn how to spin yarn and knit. For what it's worth I don't have nearly the self control to not spend money on things I like, so I'm rather impressed at this (even if I didn't show it at all before *cough*).

3) 400 HUSNGs this month, and be up enough money to move up to the 55s (my arch nemesis) with 30 BIs. I need about $630 from my current br to pull this off. Yesterday I actually got in 34 games (went 19-15) so this is feasible. Monica, Matt (my roommate) and I are going to Vegas for Spring Break so I won't have a lot of time this month to play SNG, which makes the volume goal even more absurd.

4) Pass Canon-D Crazy in Pump it Up with Stage Break on. Damn I suck at ridiculous Pump crossovers.

5) Don't do anything stupid. Yea.

Plan C

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 07:07:17 GMT

Ok, still nothing from firm. I decided to go and call a 3rd party recruiter for help. He seems really interested in helping me out, probably because I have a strong resume and he'll have an easier time getting his commission, but still. I expect nothing for a while, and a fair amount of leads near graduation when I can become eligible for the "immediate need" positions.

Poker has gone rather well since losing the stake. I played a $24 90 man on a whim and got 3rd, behind two people with a combined -60% ROI or something to that point. Awesome. HUSNG is being good to me again, and the games are just as retarded and predictable as I remembered. Wooooooo. I finally got around to making up the very first stake I ot way back in October and ran like complete ass to lose. Finally. So I have a bit over $600 and maybe this time I can manage my bankroll enough to finally break past that $34.50 to $57.50 jump. I think I'll try once I have 30 BI for the 57.50s, and drop down if I fall below 30 BI for the $34.50s.

School is getting full of work. Our 2D game is due in 2 weeks and we currently have menus and that's it. Shit.

Monica and I are strongly considering a trip to Vegas for Spring Break. This has the potential to be awesome and I'll post more about it once we make plans.

Not much humor this post, sadly. My head hurts and it's late. Shut up.

the duct tape isn't holding up anymore

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 07:46:49 GMT

Here's the state of everything.

I got a voicemail from the firm I interviewed with on Friday. I have not listened to it because not getting this job is too emotionally crushing to me at this point. I have the most ridiculous fear of failure that I've ever seen, and not even drinking is helping me get over it.

My backer decided to stop backing me because I'm a titanic tiltmonkey and he was afraid I'd spew or play badly with his money. Even though I'd NEVER do that with someone else's money, I can see where he's coming from. At least I built my roll from .04 to around $250 and he actually made a profit on the stake, unlike the last time where I ran like a cripple and have $300 in makeup still to get around to paying off.

In a related note, I am fucking done with 9 man sit and gos. Here are two numbers that explain why:

February "ITM" (In the Money) percent: 41%
February ROI: ~0%.

Yea. This means that I finished in 3rd more than half the times cashed. This is idiotic and the reason why I scream shit in AIM all the time. I'm debating going back to HUSNG (and what limits to play at), or maybe trying to learn cash playing .05/.10 for now. Or, maybe playing .25/.50 cap PLO. I'm honestly not sure.

I have stopped going to classes for the most part. Today I was too hungover to go to class. These classes have attendance grades, one of which is 15% of the grade. Shit. I am still doing the work for the classes, though.

My room is a damn mess. I have no clean clothes. Everything is sticky because I spilled a Monster+Vodka everywhere yesterday. My computer is still impossible to type on. I don't care about any of this and am doing absolutely nothing to fix any of this.

I have oftentimes compared myself in difficult personal times to a boat with hundreds of leaks that are being plugged with duct tape. I mean, it'll stay afloat for a while, but eventually not even duct tape will hold and the whole thing sinks in an epic display of fail. Boat. I really, really need professional help but I'm too fucked up emotionally to get it.

So I'll get up tomorrow, float through life some more, and wonder what's wrong with me. My meds are turning me into a zombie. Or, I'll stop taking them and scream at everything and fall apart. This is the best dichotomy ever.

Why even try?

I'll just fail anyways.

well I tried

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:54:24 GMT

Had an on-site interview yesterday. When I spoke with someone, they said that there were only 6 people that they sent in to interview and that they were considering hiring "about 4" people. Awesome. I like my chances. The day of the interview I find out that 4 of the 6 people were interns there last summer. I don't like my chances quite as much anymore. I had a cold but still bacon-filled breakfast (if there's bacon, it's not all bad) and talked to about 5 people before lunch. We went to some local restaurant, where I ordered crappy soup, an overcooked burger, and undercooked fries. The room was also REALLY dark, which played well to me getting 2 hours of sleep because the night before any really important event I can't sleep at all, ever. I still remember the night before my "M" actuarial exams I went to bed at 1 am and pulled an accidental all nighter because I did not fall asleep. Anyways, the "written" part had to be skipped because the service was slow as hell because someone at the restaurant thought it'd be an amazing idea to have their first day trainee waiters tend a table of 12, half of whom was wearing suits. Amazing.

That all said, I interviewed reasonably well. About as well as I can hope to, at least, because I suck ass at interviewing. I like the firm and didn't screw up so here's hoping that they extend offers outside the interns or that one of the interns goes elsewhere. Also, it snowed like hell right after I left, so a slightly over 1 hour drive home took about 3 hours. That combined with me being exhausted (talking to people naturally wears me out) led to me nodding off on the highway and almost crashing into a semi-truck at 55 mph. At least the results of the interview would have been the least of my worries had that happened.

Poker's been good, except last Wednesday where I completely forgot how to win hands. I'm hoping to play a fair amount over the next few days, since I haven't in almost a week. I am also hoping to move up to $22+2s fairly soon, but that depends on if I can play more than 3 sets a day.

Monica and I went to Chicago to visit some friends last weekend. We almost missed the train there on Saturday but Monica's dad showed no regard for traffic signs and we got there just as the train arrived. Awesome. We ate at a sports bar for lunch, where I watched the tantalising "how to pay your Direct TV bill" game on the big screen TV (the score was Direct TV $70, customer 0), paid $7 for a hamburger and $5.25 for one Mike's Hard Lemonade. Note that a 6-pack normally sells for $7-$8 at a non-Chicago sports bar. Monica paid a bit more, and as a special bonus, she got food poisoning from the chicken there. This is where me only ever eating hamburgers comes in handy. I spent most of the rest of the weekend making sure she was ok, and drinking and swearing out Guitar Hero III because three note chords on EVERY note is the best chart design EVER RIGHT ACTIVISION?!

I spent most of Sunday reading passiveaggressivenotes.com, which is a hilarious site and I recommend it to everyone. Monica went to an urgent care center, and just now appears to be getting better. I am very glad it was just food poisoning, although "daggers stabbing my stomach" does not sound like a fun way to spend a weekend in Chicago.

So yea... that's everything, really. I'll find out if the job nightmare ends fairly soon and we'll go from there. ONE TIME GET THIS JOB?

this is how we do

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:21:15 GMT

I seriously forgot how easy 9-mans are. Stake has gone well to this point, except for the part where I'm not playing as much as I want to. That'll change hopefully. Today's session was a bit meh but I played really well I think and have the fish berating my absolute destruction on the bubble, as such:

!!!WARNING!!!
poker strat post ahead, do not read if you don't care about poker hands

A beginner's guide to bubble rape

Hand I: Exploiting shorter stacks with a 1<BB stack on the bubble

Blinds are 250/500
Seat 1: Acesfull408 (375)
Seat 2: Insane Steve (4,095)
Seat 7: bigtate32 (3,610)
Seat 9: FightEnder (5,420)
Insane Steve posts the small blind of 250
bigtate32 posts the big blind of 500
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Insane Steve [get out of jail free card, blackjack basic strategy card]
FightEnder folds
Acesfull408 folds
Insane Steve raises to 4,095, and is all in
bigtate32 has 15 seconds left to act
bigtate32 folds
Uncalled bet of 3,595 returned to Insane Steve
Insane Steve mucks
Insane Steve wins the pot (1,000)

This is an ATC shove. If I have 3,595 instead, this is a fold. DUCY? The guy in the BB didn't:

bigtate32: that's dumb by the way

So I decided to sing the Aggrofish song for a while

Insane Steve: look at my username dude, I'm a massive aggrofish
Insane Steve: Aggro fiiiiiiiiiish
Insane Steve: shoving every hand
Insane Steve: like an aggrofiiiiiiiish [immediately after this comment, the microstack busts. The guy who called my shove dumb now has ~1,400 chips, by the way. I had 7,400+ because I suck. Oh well, I did get to do this though:]

Hand II: TAKE MANEY

Blinds are 300/600:
Seat 1: Acesfull408 (625)
Seat 2: Insane Steve (5,345)
Seat 7: bigtate32 (2,610)
Seat 9: FightEnder (4,920)
Acesfull408 posts the small blind of 300
Insane Steve posts the big blind of 600
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Insane Steve [8d 8h] (but it doesn't matter, DUCY?)
bigtate32 folds
FightEnder raises to 1,200
Acesfull408 folds
Insane Steve raises to 5,345, and is all in
FightEnder folds
Uncalled bet of 4,145 returned to Insane Steve
Insane Steve mucks
Insane Steve wins the pot (2,700)

This is a little trick an 18-man player I talk to a lot (Reasons14*) taught me -- if there's a massive microstack, and someone raises like this on the bubble with a decent stack that's smaller than yours, they can't possibly call a shove unless they have AA or maybe KK or are a stone retard. My read was that this guy wasn't quite a stone retard. So 88, 82, doesn't matter. As Bob Marley would say, Weh Jammin.

Also one more awesome hand that shows that the games are completely dead. I'm iffy on how I played this post-flop, but I suck at everything before push-fold. Which is ok, because push-fold is soooo easy and where a lot of your edge comes.

Seat 1: whodey46 (1,470)
Seat 2: TDP12212012 (1,470)
Seat 3: slappshot77 (1,500)
Seat 4: Hot Knife (1,750)
Seat 5: zombie0815 (1,370)
Seat 6: Sham17Rock (1,500)
Seat 7: Insane Steve (1,470)
Seat 8: john_maritim (1,500)
Seat 9: kidkid29 (1,470)
TDP12212012 posts the small blind of 15
slappshot77 posts the big blind of 30
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Insane Steve [Jc Jd]
Hot Knife folds
zombie0815 folds
Sham17Rock folds
Insane Steve raises to 90
john_maritim folds
kidkid29 calls 90
whodey46 folds
TDP12212012 folds
slappshot77 calls 60
*** FLOP *** [3c 7d Qs]
slappshot77 checks
Insane Steve checks
kidkid29 checks
*** TURN *** [3c 7d Qs] [7h]
slappshot77 checks
Insane Steve checks
kidkid29 bets 120
slappshot77 folds
Insane Steve calls 120
*** RIVER *** [3c 7d Qs 7h] [Ad]
Insane Steve checks
kidkid29 has 15 seconds left to act
kidkid29 checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
kidkid29 shows [7c 7s] four of a kind, Sevens
Insane Steve mucks
kidkid29 wins the pot (525) with four of a kind, Sevens

A lot more of your edge comes from playing people who check behind on the river with quads.

*Reasons14 also keeps a pretty solid blog too, it's a lot less spastic than mine but it's worth a read.: http://musiclifepoker.blogspot.com/

mmmmmmm steak ARRRRRRGHAGHRGHARGH

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 08:07:48 GMT

So I'm back to the grind in poker. I got a stake today to play $11+1 9 mans. It'll be an interesting break from HU for me, at least. And, hopefully, a chance for me to get MEGA VOLUME. For now I'm going to the casino by my house to play live tomorrow. Last time went well; I won despite getting incredibly crappy starting hands the whole night.

Also I got Dr. Mario and Tetris online multiplayer for the Wii. I'm holding my own pretty well against the ridiculous Japanese players that have like 4,000 wins or something at Dr. Mario. I also need to get Monica to start a save file in Super Paper Mario. I spent the whole week with her (mostly), which was awesome.

School starts in a week. Woooooooo.

Fairly short post. Woooooooo.

2008 In Review

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 06:02:15 GMT

Well, 2008 certainly was a weird year, to say the least. I'm going to list some things about my life I've paid attention to this year and sort of "grade" 2008 as a whole.

Relationships: Hey, Monica and I are still together after almost a year and a half. I'd say we're doing better than ever. Or, we will be once my emotional state stops being weird. Also we totally need to find a craft that I really want to do ... soap is the closest so far and even that's more "ok, we can make soap" instead of "YES LET'S GO YAY." Yea, there were ups and downs but overall things went awesomely and this is really the one part of my life that really went quite well this year. A

School: I kept my 4.0 despite the +/- system going into effect and me not giving a rat's ass about school last semester. The coming semester I'm taking a class on game design for the hell of it. The apartment is bad-ass. Awesome. A

The Future: Well, the job market sucks, I didn't get a job offer I thought was a slam dunk, and I went from finaly being happy with myself to being in a fucking depressive rut. Again. This isn't going to improve without a fucktonne of effort and some luck on my part, the latter of which doesn't ever seem to want to cooperate with me. F

Poker: I started the year with about $1,500 that I ran up to about $3,500 in 3 months, I cash out $2,300 over the next month or so, break even for the next 4 months, lose my bankroll management skills, and proceed to LOSE $1,800 or so over the last five months ($300 of which wasn't even mine and I'm working to return ASAP), with no month even coming close to being a winning month. I end 2008 with four cents in my poker accounts. So overall it was a wash, but I'm going to have to seriously clean my fucking game up if I want to be a solid winner in 2009. Also, despite my shitacular performance from August-December, I have an OPR of >99% at HUSNG on Full Tilt for the year. What the hell. C-

Miscellaneous: Arrowsmash was alright this year. I'm a lot better at timing than last year but my stamina sucks now. Fuck. In the middle of the year my computer decided to start dropping letters when I type by lagging randomly (which is really, really fucking obnoxious) and shutting off sometimes when I try to play Stepmania. Fuck. I didn't screw up any friendships this year, at least, so that's one good thing. Also I've seriously gained way too much weight this year from being depressed and treating my body like a dumpster. My circles of interest are still really fucking narrow, too. I did not, however, seriously fuck myself up physically this year, which is at least one good thing I can say about it. At least gas is cheap. For now. D

Overall: I would say that overall I am worse off now than I was on January 1st. I would also say that 2007 >>>>>> 2008 by about ten million miles or so. This was a year of disappointments, failure against all odds in some facets of my life, victory against all odds in other facets of my life. I need to clean up my fucking act, get more proactive in job hunting, lose some damn weight, and stop moving up stakes at poker when I lose like a damn monkey. I'm kind of spiraling downhill somewhat and I need to get off my ass and start doing something about myself.

2008 Grade: D+

2009 is going to be FUUUUUUUUN.

hey remember when

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 05:19:59 GMT

I said that I was surprised that my Full Tilt account wasn't at $.04?

Well it is now. HARHARHAR gg me

Why even try?

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:43:51 GMT

So I finally got an e-mail from that other company who called to set up an on-site interview. Except that they don't anymore because they apparently found the people they wanted already. Thanks for getting my hopes up and wasting my time. I learned two things from this:

1) If a firm asks if you have something lined up, lie and say that you do. Because if you don't, any interview you get will be put off until the position is already filled.
2) This one event has shaken my confidence to the point where I don't even expected to be employed over half the time this May. Who's to say the other firm in Chicago I talked to won't pull the same shit? I mean, I don't actually HAVE an interview set up, they just "want to set something up for January", whatever that means. This probably means I'll get an e-mail sometime around the 27th saying they filled the position already.

I plan to sign up for the job search consulting service before I leave school, since everything else is getting absolutely fucking nowhere. At all. My hopes are somewhere between the basement and the sewers for anything to happen.

In other news, my birthday went yesterday. My friends, Monica, and I went to Olive Garden where we got a terrible fucking waiter. Aside from that, disco vodka, and too much snow to do much of anything, uneventful. Also terribly standard.

I went to Bloomingtont to visit one of Monica's friends last weekend. I also discovered that there's actually some Turkish food I'll eat. Weird. Also on the way back I blew out a tire running over a median because I'm a fucking terrible driver when I'm of my meds. Actually I'm fucking terrible at almost anything when I'm off my meds. And I'm a fucking terrible driver normally. Fortunately I got some of those yesterday. New tires and meds.

I still have not signed up for classes. What's the damn point? I'll probably keep my 4.0, but seriously why does it matter? I'd rather have a 3.0 and the ability to make connections than this shit I'm going through now.

I'd ask if you want fries with that, but I doubt I'd get a job at McDonald's even beause I'm too qualified for that.

Fuck my life. The only redeeming quality about this post is that it makes a neat purple Tetris block on the calendar on the left margin.

the state of everything (reprise)

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 03:18:08 GMT

!!!WARNING!!!
wait I don't need a warning this isn't emo never mind

I haven't played poker since last post. I just don't trust my emotional state. At all. I want to make sure that I'm not going to be an idiot spewtard before I start again. I mean, why grind if you're just going to lose it all in a day of tiltfest PLO?

I had one firm e-mail me back, at least, but the on site interview is going to happen later than I'd thought at first. Nothing from the other one yet, and it's been over 3 weeks. I might call them back next week if nothing happens.

I finshed the book report a bit ago. I'm very, very suprised that I finished that before 4 AM but I also didn't really read the last ~30% of the book, just sort of skimmed it for talking points. I'm still pleased with how it turned out. No progress on the regression, but that's not due until MONDAY. What kind of total nerd does things that long before they are due?

As for other classes, I demolished my investments midterm. I did have the professor tell me, after class, that I was one of the smartest students he's ever had but he wishes I'd apply myself better. I guess that 103.7% average on your midterms when the class averaged 80% wasn't enough application. Or maybe he didn't appreciate me leaving class for 15 minutes every lecture to get a fountain drink from the local convenience store. Should get an A, if not I'm going to someone about it. I also found out my loss models class had no +/- grading. YES. I need a ~75 for an A assuming 90% total is an A. Should be easy, considering I have no other finals, at all.

Renewed my license today. Some observations:

-Indiana's driver's licenses look so damn weird. They're all kinds of weird colors.
-I managed to look incredibly pissed at the world in my photo. I'd not have settled for anything less.
-I had to take off my glasses and brush aside my (way too damn long since I need a haircut really, really fucking bad) hair because if they can't see your eyebrows you're a terrorist, I guess. Makes sense. Go neo-cons.
-I brought my book report book to read while I waited in line. Except for the fact there was no line. What the hell. How is there a DMV with no line, ever? They even remarked about my book that I brought in and was holding like damn idiot the whole time.
-I have gained 40 pounds since the last time I got a license.
-My eyes have also changed color somehow. They were hazel before, now they're very definitely green. What the fuck?!

My meds are still running out and I'm still not seeing the psychologist. Woooooooooo apathy.

So yea things are looking up, at least sort of.

the state of everything

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:56:43 GMT

!!!WARNING!!! EMO ALERT
if you do not want to read emo do not read this post

Here is the current state of everything so far

I discovered that I absolutely can't play poker any more without becoming an idiot gambling degenerate when I lose. I drop two straight $33 games and there I am sitting with my roll over two PLO tables. I'm surprised my FTP Account balance isn't $.04. I just can't play poker anymore, not until my emotions stablise. Well, I can, I just won't win at it. Maybe I'll stop playing heads up and go back to stts or 18 mans. Maybe sitting at 80 tables instead of 1 will change things, but I'm not holding my breath.

I have two firms that have said they want to contact me for on site full interviews. This is great, except for the part where it's been one week and three weeks since the contact and I've scheduled nothing with either of them because they haven't called back. I'd put the over/under on the number of these interviews that actually happen at 1. I may need to hit up the career recruiter soon.

I have a large book report due Friday. It's 25% of my grade, and I'm scraping along the A/B line in this course. I have read 50/350 pages so far. I have a large project in regression due Monday. It's only 10% of my grade and I demolished the last exam, but I haven't started yet.

I really need to renew my driver's license. My 22nd birthday is next Tuesday and it'll expire on that date. I have no clue where the DMV is, can't find it, and don't care. My meds are running out. I've become rather irritable the last few days. Aside from one call to get more meds I have done nothing about this. I stopped seeing the psychologist I've been going to because I got to the last meeting literally 2 minutes late but he'd already left because it was the last appointment of the day on a Friday.

As an aside, the girlfriend's birthday is next Monday. So next weekend should be fun aside from that regression thing at least. Aside from that I am not looking forward to anything at all.

You're still reading this? Really? It's just a massive wall of fucking emo bullshit. You shouldn't care about me enough to actually want to have to read this tripe. This post is a worthless wall of text that's clogging up the intertubes. Because the INTERNET IS A SERIES OF TUBES.

IT IS NOT A TRUCK YOU CAN JUST DUMP THINGS ON.

Like my life, I guess.
Wait. That makes no damn sense. Like my life, I guess.

GRINDCOOOOOORE

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 08:06:55 GMT

I got back to poker after a self-induced (read: due to busto) hiatus. I showed myself just how much of a random spewtard I am by playing a $6 game and then within the hour playing a $57.50 game. (for what it's worth, I lost the $6 and won the $57.50. Go figure.) I'm never going to win at cards again if I keep playing higher-buyin matches because I'll Martingale myself to busto again. I've been down the road so often it's like I know where all the signs are, all the podunk trailer trash towns on the road to Bustoville are, at the exact moment. I just passed Eventown, the place where you wind up when being a degen after losing a couple games pays off and you suddenly have what you had in your account at the start and just as suddenly lose all will to play anymore.

In other news, I have an interview tomorrow. It's for a Chicago firm. My work experience this summer is not as relevant as I'd like but they DID contact me without me even applying for their position, so I have mixed hopes. ONE TIME JOB OFFER

So yea, I guess the point of all this is, I'm going to stay up until like 6 AM like I have been, maybe drink a bit of booze, get up too late to do the homework that's due at 1:30 tomorrow, do it anyways, show up to class a half hour late like I always do, and then try to prepare for the interview. It's a weird cycle, but it's become almost routine to be this self-destructive with regard to classes. But I'm raping my exams even without trying because I'm an autistic bastard with SUPER ROTE MEMORISATION POWERS. My last exam I just walked in, knew most of the problems, walked out, and listened to all the idiot business majors bitch about how hard the test was. I have stopped going to that class (the professor sent an email saying "stop walking out of class, please. It's disruptive. I know you get the material, but be more respectful." ... so I stopped going, hahaha.) but seriously. It's a BUNCH OF FORMULAE. YOU HAD THEM ON A SHEET. Come the fuck on. This is why all my MGMT classes are a joke -- NO ONE in the Business/Management programs at Purdue get time-value of money or any stats based concepts, ever. So bond valuation, which is a complete joke to me, takes like 6 classes and people STILL can't get it.

But enough ranting about coursework. I have a couple big projects due soon, and I actually think I can keep my 4.0 desipte the horrificly unfair to perfectionist types like me +/- gradng system (with no bonus for A+s) going into effect this year.

But for now, 3 AM drinking sounds like fun. Peace out.

SPRING BREAK WOOOOOOOOOOO

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 07:52:10 GMT

So I took Matt home and went to the casino by his house and won about enough to get food after I left. I don't know why, but I find that playing poker at that poker room is really, really boring. All the people who play there play absurdly tight, which basically means you get no value when you hit and winning is a matter of waiting until a good bluffing spot and pouncing or whatever while you idlely chit-chat and listen to the same idiotic 70/30 bad beat story over and over again for an hour in a row. Meanwhile everyone else is playing sooo weak-tight and the money just goes in a circle, except for the part where the money goes to the casino.

I feel kind of sad for these people. Some of them spend enough time in the casino to get a VIP card which gets them access to the VIP lounge for themselves and a guest where they can eat all the stale cake and mediocre side dishes they desire. Some of them sit in there for enough time for it to almost be a job, except the way they play there's no chance in hell they could ever win, or at least win more than they'd get working at McDonald's per hour. But hey, at least they get free food on the house. Then again, that's the case at McDonald's too.

I guess what I learned is that I need to get money back on internet poker again, because I can play heads up or Omaha and I don't have to sit there like a damn idiot for hours waiting for a hand. And I don't have to rely on my finely dulled face-reading skills to know when to bet. But hey, I made $3 an hour playing today (better than my standard live play rate in the past of about -$50 and hour). And that's something, right?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to enjoy my hard earned cheeseburgers*.

*without cheese. Cheese on a hamburger is gross.

Get a haircut and get a real job

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 03:19:26 GMT

So I need a haircut kind of bad.

Also this whole job hunting thing is starting to pan out a bit. I had a firm that I hadn't spoken to call me out of the blue and I scheduled an interview with them. I had someone I spoke to earlier from another firm call me today to talk about "future interest in the company." I mean, I had a feeling that recruiting interview went quite well (there was another person outside waiting to interview and my interview ran late because I was talking about golf with the recruiter), go it's good to see that I can actually assess how well these things went at least marginally well.

PS: That big ass red text in the last post? That was for the first post only; I was just being stupid to be stupid.

GET A DAMN LIVEJOURNAL YOU EMO BASTARD

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 06:15:27 GMT

So I fally caved into that obnoxious 6-year old child's voice in my head that's all "OMG YOU NEED TO GET A BLOG TO POST ALL THE WONDERFUL SHIT YOU THINK OF!!!1" -- until now, my rational thinking "You don't need a blog" side was in control, and then the 6 year old figured how to unlock the cage and here I am posting on this thing.

I intentionally picked the gaudiest, most unsettling colors because reading what I write gives me a headache and I want everyone ever to experience what I go through reading shit like this.

But what to expect? Deep thoughts about life, "deep" thoughts about life, deep "thoughts" about life, deep thoughts about "life," ... and a lot of drunk and emo rambling. It'll be fun*!

*fun not guaranteed